Why Me? Why Now?

It’s been over 33 years since I returned to “the world” from my tour in Vietnam. I thought I had put things behind me – until this spring. Since starting to work on web site pages about a month ago, thoughts of Vietnam are almost always on my mind. At times, the page construction became obsessive.

Now, I was never in a firefight. I never earned a CIB. The closest I came to being shot at was incoming rounds at Brigade Main Base one morning while I was there. The only time I fired my weapon was at the range. So, why me?

When I got out of the Army, I completed college and went to work. I didn’t have any nightmares or flashbacks. The only effect that my military service seemed to have was that I had matured. Sure, there were things that reminded me of Vietnam, but they were on my mind for short periods of time. So, why now?

I can’t say that I was a close friend of anyone whose name is on “The Wall.” I don’t know of any friends that returned wounded. The Field Crosses and the hospital visits were for guys in the units I served – but I never really knew them. So, why me?

I’ve heard all about delayed stress. Sure, there are things that trigger feelings like the sight of a Field Cross, the sound of Taps, a flag draped coffin. But they do not last like feelings have recently. So, why now?

The guys from Delta and Echo companies, 2/3^rd have invited me to their reunions. I’m told they can be a great help to understanding. I can’t make the Delta reunion but I am making initial plans to attend the Echo reunion. These are the guys I actually lived with in Vietnam. I’ve never been to one of these before. Perhaps it will help me understand: Why me? Why now?

Tom Winfield

Chaplain Assistant

199^th Infantry Brigade - Vietnam